Does Therapy Really Help?

It's amazing how helpful talking with a caring person can be. Counseling can feel empowering.  As we begin to understand ourselves better, understand our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, we learn to love ourselves, accept ourselves, and relate to others in a more satisfying way.

Many of us struggle with our important relationships, or we have behaviors we don't like, maybe addictions, or other issues that make us feel terrible about ourselves.  Having someone help us understand and identify our hidden beliefs and realize we can change those beliefs can be remarkable.  Counseling can help increase our self esteem, help us find ways to make the life adjustments we wish to make and learn to love ourselves again or for some, learn to love ourselves for the first time.

Therapy does take work, however.  But it's an important investment in your life, in the life of your marriage and the life of your children. Whatever positive changes you make for yourself will ultimately impact your children, your marriage, and other relationships.  For some people, it can change their life. 

Here's an example:  Jane was living with a husband who struggled with sex addiction and didn't realize what was wrong in their marriage.  Not until she met with a therapist did she realize what sex addiction was, but she also began to understand what negative thoughts and behaviors she had that only made their marital issues worse.  

Jane had grown up in a loving family, felt that all her needs were met as a child, but realized that there were some missing pieces in her growing-up years.  She struggled in school and had one or two teachers who were very hard on her.  Thus, her negative self-talk started..."I'm no good." "I'm a failure." I don't deserve to be happy." 

She had no idea these core beliefs were inside her until she met with a therapist.  Her negative beliefs kept her stuck in an unhappy marriage.  She felt anxious, depressed and trapped.  But until she realized what was happening in her marriage and within herself, she couldn't make positive changes on her own.  

As her self-esteem grew, she began to set healthy boundaries with her husband, was less angry and bitter, started to have more energy for her kids, and realized that she deserved a better relationship.

Jane began to understand how she really felt, rather than stuff the feelings and direct her anger and sarcasm towards the people she loved the most. She began talking with love and respect towards her husband, rather than with rage.  She had more patience with her kids.  She learned to set boundaries and say "NO!"  She came to realize some of the issues they had as a couple did belong to her husband so she learned to detach with love.  As she began changing, so did her marriage and she was happy and at peace with the marital changes.

This is only one example of how therapy can help. Talk with your therapist if you have more questions. Trust that things can be better.  Remember, if you have health issues, you talk with a doctor to help.  If you have financial issues, you talk with a financial expert. So don't delay...talk with a therapist now.  Things can change and change can be awesome.